Meet hole in ground

I have to admit, this is a tough blog to write. There is just soooo much material and not enough hours in a day. So today I will start by wishing everyone a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year. Of course, our office isn't closed during this time as most other places are, but the rest of the staff are virtually non-existant (myself included). But I digress....

Years ago we used to have a problem in the ladies washroom. We were not knowing of who the culprit(s) was or were, but for the longest time we had the most terrible messes left behind in the stalls. One of our co-workers even sent an email to all the gals asking the perp to wipe their pee off the seat, only to have someone from management get in her face calling her out of line, and that the water was just "backsplash".

I don't know about you folks, but I don't give two shakes if it's back splash, fore splash or side splash. If you squat and hover to keep your bum dry, and you splatter, for the love of Mr. Clean wipe the damn seat!

Anyway, that chick is gone and in the last year we have seen a complete shift in the Y-chromosome balance. Now we are overrun with men, well, at least almost on par with the ladies. Of course, with this great benefit comes the additional problems. Men are messier than women: they seem to lack the "neat" gene that double-XXs take for granted as instinct.

Every day for the past month we've had to call maintenance to the floor to plunge the toilet in the men's room. We suspect that one of the suits thought it was perfectly acceptable to jam paper towels in the toilet along with their daily business. What was he thinking? Why are we so sure we can pinpoint a specific individual? Because on the day he wasn't here, the toilet didn't jam.

This man is really just a boy. A young pup. Not sure how he managed to score a management job, but then we've been questioning a lot of decisions made around here... hence this blog. We think he was hired because he's cute and looks good in a suit, even though he can barely operate Excel and Word, which are the primary analytical tools used by... ahem... management. One of his other notable skills is that he can eat. He was the last person left eating at the buffet lunch to honor our staff. Figures. He eats like a horse — he probably dumps a load like one as well. But to add paper towel to the mix? What was he thinking????!!!

I've said it before, our company is nuts. They don't seem to know their asses from holes in the ground. And when the growing gets tough, they don't fill the holes. they just rotate the asses.

Love,

Ivana Nujahb
Anytown